Rwanda: Rubavu – Where Parents Build Houses for Children Before Marriage

In Rubavu District, particularly in Mudende and Busasamana Sectors, a unique tradition persists where parents build houses for their children before they marry.

Though this custom has faded over the years due to limited resources, it remains a proud heritage for certain families in this volcanic region.

The practice of providing a home and necessary household items to children before their marriage has its roots in the district’s history. While it has become rare in other parts of Rwanda, in Rubavu, some families continue to uphold this tradition, believing it strengthens family bonds and ensures a secure start for the newlyweds.

One such parent, Faustin Nkerabigwi, remains committed to this custom.

Nkerabigwi has built four houses for his sons, complete with plots of land, to ensure they have all they need for a happy and comfortable life with their future spouses.

For him, this is more than just providing shelter; it’s about leaving a lasting legacy and a symbol of family unity.

“When I have a child, I build them a house and buy a plot of land around it. This tradition was passed down to me by my father,” Nkerabigwi said in an interview.

Jean Baptiste Manizabayo, one of the beneficiaries of this tradition, illustrates the importance of such family support. With his family’s help, he received a motorcycle enabling him to provide for his family and manage household expenses.

“All the support I received from my father now helps me to feed my family,” Manizabayo said.

Another devoted father, François Hanyurwimfura, a 60-year-old resident of Mutura Village in Nyundo Cell, Mudende Sector, also continues this practice. A successful pyrethrum farmer and father of five, Hanyurwimfura has built homes for his two married sons, ensuring their happiness and stability.

Hanyurwimfura emphasises that supporting one’s children is not just about financial capacity but also about the willingness to care for their well-being. He believes this practice helps reduce family conflicts and fosters a harmonious environment for future generations.

“Some parents here do not support their children, though some lack the means. However, it’s a good practice that others should embrace for the sake of future generations as it decreases family conflicts,” he explained.

Reflecting on his upbringing, Hanyurwimfura recalls how his parents built him a traditional house, locally known as “indaro,” before he married. For him, this act of support was not just about resources but about the will to care for one’s children.

“My parents built me ‘indaro,’ and then I married. It’s not about capacity; it’s about the will,” added Hanyurwimfura, noting that his five neighbours in the village also uphold the same cultural values passed down from their parents.

A Symbol of Unity

This tradition of parents supporting their children symbolises a time when families were united and cared deeply for one another. Jean de Dieu Nsanzabera, an orator, writer, and artist specialising in Rwandan culture, believes that this sense of community and mutual support should be revived and celebrated.

“Families used to come together and support their children; they were united. But over time, culture faded, people became selfish, and families stopped caring for their children as they once did,” Nsanzabera observed. “That culture should return.”

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The practice of family support aligns with the provisions of Law Nº 71/2024 of 26/06/2024 governing persons and family. Article 176 of this law describes family donations as voluntary acts, while Article 240 emphasises the duty of spouses to care for, nurture, and educate their children based on national values.

Nsanzabera says that the tradition of helping children by building them houses and giving them household items before they get married is a reminder of the importance of family bonds and the necessity of supporting one another in times of need.

He further adds that it is a custom worth preserving and passing down through generations, as it exemplifies the values of love, care, and generosity within a family.

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